Exclusive Interview with Ness's Dad

We're going to start this segment... close to home, you could say. Our first guest is Ness's dad! We couldn't catch up with him in person, but we were able to reach him for a phone interview. Here's the transcript of our conversation:

*Phone rings*

Ness's Dad: Ness? It's your dad.

Spamness: No, thi---

ND: I deposited $53 into your bank account.
Taking away what you've spent, you should now have $6048 in the bank.

SN: Umm.... yeah, about that, I've changed my bank account number. Could you update your records? Just kidding, this is Spamness from spamness.com.

ND: Anyway, what do you need from me?

SN: I'd like to ask you a few questions.

ND: Your dear old dad was also thinking about hitting the hay for the night.

SN: I'm sorry to contact you at a bad time, but I'm not your son, Ness. Though if you wanted to pay me as handsomely as you do him, just to go out and exterminate snakes and crows and big ants, I'd be happy to! Are you independantly wealthy? And if so, was it all thanks to your neighbors, Mr. Minch?

ND: "Work to exhaustion when you're young..."

SN: So you would pay me? Or, was that the secret to your fortune?

ND: Have you ever heard of a weird saying like this?

SN: I guess I have... but that's off the subject. Let me just ask you, did you really support your son, Ness, when he was on his adventure to 'save humanity'?

ND: Just remember, I'm always behind you 100%.

SN: You mean, Ness. You were behind Ness 100%? That must've made him happy. Ness was a real hero, wasn't he?

ND: What? Well, the father of a hero, at least! Wa ha ha!

SN: Ha ha... wait, huh? So, you're confirming the rumors that Ness has a son??

ND: Don't be afraid.

SN: I am shaking a little bit, but afraid? HA! This is every reporter's dream!

ND: Withdraw your cash from any cash machine and buy whatever you need.

SN: Are you trying to bribe me? The press cannot be silenced.

ND: I know that you're brave. You can do it!

SN: Brave-ness has nothing to do with it! We're talking about a global system of reporters, there's no way this can be covered up forever. Remember, the photographer that kept taking pictures of Ness on his journey? Without the press, we might as well be living in caves! If the world thought the "Earthbounders" were on an adventure, the story about me trying to silence the media would be even bigger!

ND: Don't forget to call me periodically during your adventure.

SN: Adventu--? Ohh.... no, no, no... I was just saying that to show how IMPOSSIBLE it would be.

ND: I can make a record of your progress when you call me.

SN: That's nice, sir, but I don't plan on making this a regular activity...

ND: Oh yeah, I deposited $30 into your bank account.

SN: Again with the bribes!! This is really below you! I wanted this interview to be about what work you really do, and why you're never at home, debunking the rumor of you actually being a phone and things like that! This is pointless... I need to END this interview now.

ND: We're a great team, aren't we?
Well, you should turn the power OFF instead of just pressing RESET.
All right?

--I hope the rest of our interviews are a little more productive.

Spotlight Interview:
Ness's Dad - We know you're interested, because we were! Click this link to read our spotlight interview on Ness's dad. Is he really a phone? Was he supportive of Ness? Does he ever come home to see his family? That's what we'd like to know.